LET’S CHAT

Textile Museum Wedding | Kate Headley | Ritzy Bee Events

Textile Museum Wedding | Kate Headley | Ritzy Bee Events

Textile Museum Wedding | Kate Headley | Ritzy Bee Events

Textile Museum Wedding | Kate Headley | Ritzy Bee Events

Textile Museum Wedding | Kate Headley | Ritzy Bee Events

Textile Museum Wedding | Kate Headley | Ritzy Bee Events

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my brief two weeks of being engaged, it’s that people love to talk about weddings. They’re such joyful, beautiful celebrations it’s easy to understand why people love to reminisce about their own, daydream about their someday, and why we all seem to love a royal wedding (but I will be slightly heartbroken when Harry finally ties the knot. Big crush!)

We’re currently en route to the Cape to spend the weekend visiting venues so I thought I’d take the opportunity to ask for your two cents, since if I’m being completely honest, I find the whole prospect of wedding planning completely overwhelming.

So, let’s chat about weddings. If you’re married, I’d love to hear all about yours and your best piece of advice for planning. If you’re single or dating, what’s your dream wedding look like?

P.S this DC wedding shot by Kate Headley and coordinated by Ritzy Bee Events is pretty much my idea of perfection. Intimate, simple and sophisticated. It kills me that the Textile Museum (where this was held) is relocating.

19 thoughts on “LET’S CHAT

  1. You’re absolutely right when you say people love to talk about weddings–and, in particular, share tidbits from their own!

    I think that it is so easy to get caught up in gorgeous photos on social media and think, what about this? or this? or this? because there are so many facets to a person’s personal style and it is so tempting to incorporate all of it… But when it came down to it and I made myself think, “Well, is this really us?” I narrowed down choices and made firmer decisions more quickly.

    I also had to let go of doing some of my more fanciful ideas in order to retain my sanity and good humor. (We planned and made everything ourselves without a wedding planner and no in-town relatives to help.) And at the end of the day, I don’t even miss the things we weren’t able to do.

  2. What an exciting time – enjoy every minute and don’t rush the engagement. I loved being married in my hometown, Annapolis, and hosting the wedding at my childhood home downtown. Assembling a great team was key – florist, photographer, event designer, tent company, band – and having back up plans in case of rain (the reception was mostly outside!). I got a lot of inspiration from Tara Guerard, who is a client and friend, from her two books – Southern Weddings and Weddings by Tara Guerard. She shares a lot of aspirational images and practical advice. Enjoy your trip to the Cape!

  3. Congratulations! This is one of the most exciting times in your life. Take your time and try enjoy every minute because it can get very overwhelming if you let it. Here are a few pieces of advice: Hire a planner if you can afford it, or do what we did and have a professional just coordinate the rehearsal & wedding day to make sure they run smoothly. At our wedding, we thought of various ways to make our day personal and unique. As a bonus, a lot of these decisions also saved money. My baking-savvy sister-in-law made the cake. My brother played acoustic guitar as we walked down the aisle. My bridesmaids and I made the invitations and programs. We even did our own flower arrangements and bouquets (which I probably wouldn’t recommend – that was a lot of work that couldn’t be done until the day of the rehearsal). The point is to get creative and make your day your own. My husband and I walked down the aisle together, and we had more bridesmaids than groomsmen. While we’re on that topic, I wish I would’ve had the idea to skip the bridesmaids and groomsmen altogether. To be honest, I’ve never seen the point in them, and there was a lot of unexpected tension between my three closest friends, who had never really spent any time together before. Also, some girls don’t handle (what they perceive to be) the pressure of being a bridesmaid very well.

    Good luck with planning. Can’t wait to see pictures! :)

    • I didn’t have a wedding party and it was such a load off. When I realized I was going to end up with 12 bridesmaids(I’m a little older) I just decided to scrap the whole thing. Best decision ever.

  4. I have been married for 54 1/2 years. I remember the day to a Tee!
    I absolutely love the wedding you shared on this post. Very sophisticated! Love it!
    I was 18 years old….a completely different world in 1959. Very princess like!!!
    Enjoy the planning. Make it FUN. When is the big day?

  5. Congratulations again and good luck on the venue search!

    I have been engaged since March and am getting married in August. It has been a fun but very overwhelming and sometimes frustrating process but it is starting to come together. With vendors, do your research and when you find the right person at the right price you will know it.

    Best wishes! xo

  6. Good luck! I got married about a year and a half ago in a city where I don’t live and had no family (but we met there). I wasn’t really into wedding planning and I only flew in once (and went on a whirlwind visit to vendors). I think the best thing we did was pick an amazing space. That way all the linens and flowers could be white and simple. My best advice is just be chill and have fun and try to throw a good party(everything won’t go right – I loved my photographer but don’t love my pictures), do first look photos (takes so much stress off. we did ours at favoirite old haunts), and plan a great honeymoon so you have something else to look forward to after the party is over.
    http://gigglinggourmand.wordpress.com/category/wedding-photos/

  7. You will remember it for the rest of your life but it will only actually last a few hours. Make sure it’s what YOU want – don’t worry about pleasing other people because most won’t remember or care. Enjoy the process. The smartest thing we did was keep the guest list manageable so both my husband and I actually knew everyone who attended. A side benefit was being able to splurge more on our honeymoon – which we both recall much more than the wedding & reception, 30 years later.

  8. Congratulations!!! I’m a born and raised Cape Codder myself (now displaced to Manhattan…) and while I’m not yet married so I can’t provide personal advice, I believe a Cape wedding MUST have a good dose of Cape charm in it. I love the idea of a fun, unfussy, decadent meal – clam/lobster bake! So not complete without stuffed quahogs!

  9. Advice from a woman who has been happily married forty-one years. Your friends will change–your family will remain. Simplify the wedding party and guest list accordingly. Enjoy the whole process–the planning, the wedding, and the honeymoon–but realize there is much more happiness to come!

  10. Hi there- loved the wedding you posted! My husband and I have been married for 1 1/2 years (almost still newlyweds) and you’re right about people wanting to share. It took me a bit to realize that they just wanted to share and reminisce, not tell me what I should do!
    It can definitely be overwhelming, but stick with the things that you like- don’t get too into the trends or something that you saw last week on Pinterest. You’ll be much happier in the long run with your decisions (at least I was!) because they are truer to your style.
    Also, I only had 1 bridesmaid and we only had 75 guests – best decisions ever!!
    (And, shameless I know considering what I said, but I linked to my own wedding if you’d like to take a peek at mine!)

  11. The Practical Wedding blog is what helped me survive the process. The best advice I can give is to try to keep your focus on how you want to feel on that day. rather than how it will look in photos. You want to be free to be the bride, which is hard when you are also the wedding planner :)

    http://apracticalwedding.com/

  12. I didn’t have a planner, but would highly recommend a planner, photographer, or friend to direct you and the groom around. There’s so much going on, you don’t want to think about what you’re supposed to do next (cut the cake, dance, take photos, or introduce your Mr. Right to your grade school friend). Having someone to do all the thinking for you takes a load off and ensures no hurt feelings.

  13. My three pieces of advice- First, at least have a day of coordinator if not a full blown planner. Second, everyone will have an opinion about everything, do what you want to do! Third, something will go wrong, in 5 years you’re not going to remember.

  14. My wedding led to being a wedding blogger for Weddingbee, which pretty much killed my blog. It looks like a blog from 2011 because it basically is stuck in 2011. Oh well…blogging for Weddingbee was awesome.

    I’m sure you’ll have a planner of some sort, whether full or DOC, so I’ll skip the super specific stuff. You read that stuff anywhere. My advice would be to not be afraid of being…difficult. I think wedding tv shows have us all on edge, trying to please everyone and not be a Bridezilla. In hindsight, I wish I had been a little more assertive about what I wanted in a few instances. Instead, I deferred to others, convincing myself that it was the way to make them happy.

    If you are spending all that time and money, you should be happy and thrilled with the results, not lukewarm about anything.

    And research your photographer. There are a lot of people with the trappings of a top photog (they shoot film, charge $6k, have a dreamy portfolio), but some of them have very little experience and those portfolios are short on real weddings. It’s easy to take a beautiful shot at a styled shoot when you have hours to get it right (I know…I’ve styled a few myself). It’s very different to catch those same images when a wedding is unfolding.

  15. My husband and I wanted to keep our wedding small (it was still over 100 people!); but we had so many friends and family we decided to marry in North Texas, where we lived, in lieu of South and Central Texas, where are friends and family were. It was the only way to invite our huge family (so no feelings would be hurt), but make sure we weren’t petrified in front of a huge crowd!

    We were married in a very conservative Catholic Church. We had bought a house 2 months before the wedding and had moved into it. Because we were living together, we were only allowed to have one attendant each and were not allowed to have flowers. We had the first wedding of the day, and the flowers for the next wedding had already been delivered. :) Free flowers.

    Anyhow, spend money on the photographer. Find one that does not just do posed photos, but also obviously has a rapport with clients. Ours are good, but pretty boring. I wish we had had someone more fun!

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